fighting!!!!

i hate fighting... it always makes me feel guilty irrespective whether I'm guilty or not. i always end up apologizing even when other people should apologize. well, can't help it. I'm like that. call me stupid. ye, i accept. I'm stupid. but I prefer to be a stupid than unhappy.

when u fight with someone close, does it really matter who has started it?? don't both of us feel bad?? so i just took the 1st step.(well, now we should overlook the fact that in 99.9999999567% cases i am really the culprit)

but one thing i like about fighting. when the thing is all sorted out, and u r back again in good terms...i feel so good. and my memory always forgets the bad things and manages to remember how we spend the good times together.

that's all...


after a long time I'm in such a good mood!!hope this will last more than a moment!!! and even if doesn't, who cares??( well,i'm lying..i care..I really care)

Perspective

just a bit ago i was feeling bad. someone did something which hurt me. i know that someone didn't mean it, did it just like that. but i can't help it. for me small things really matter.
i was feeling a bit bad. every thing's fine.. but...
and then I open my mailbox and read a forwarded mail. it was about how small this earth is compared to this universe. it's not that I wasn't aware of the fact. but the moment was perfect.

i realized that if u see things from the wider angle, who are we?? who am I?? so our li'l problems are really meaningless. and suddenly I started to feel a bit better.

When the Dreams Come true

After so many days of tension, apprehension, mood swings and uncertainty finally I'm in Delhi.Yes..I'm in Delhi.
The journey was fine( if I forgot the bad biriyani that I bought from mughalsarai) except the few moments when i was really got bored by lying for so long. My co passengers were nice specially the little girl who too naughty to handle. all the time I was making faces at her and she was threatening to beat me with her silent hand gestures. the train was more than 2 hours late and at the end I was really getting impatient. but everything has a positive side. and here the positive thing is that my cousin had to wait for 2 hours at the station for me. I felt so pseudo important. whatever, i like feeling important, even with the pseudo word before it.:P

the 1st day was pretty good. I did what I loved most. Roamed around the city seeing faces of people (and checking out the girls, of course). I specially liked it when i see a boy calling a street dweller to give her an ice cream. that was my moment of Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you all, my friends.


( i know this is a worthless post but you can't expect anything better from me, that too when i'm this excited..to live one of my dream finally)

Delhidreams

Since this July, when I met my cousin, I planned to go to delhi on christmas. I'm really fond of my cousin so this trip was something I wanted very much. but I knew that when you plan for something so earlier, it could go wrong.
my Prof wants to send me to IIT kgp to do a bit of work for our project under one of his student. we may have to go on during this christmas. but I'm not alone in this. one of my dear friend will also accompany me to there. and she really wants to go for research. and I know how good it'll be for her. so I can't say no to this trip.

yesterday i asked my prof to conirm me the dates. he asked me why and I told him about the delhi trip and that I've to cancel my tickets. he asked why? I said that I may go to delhi sometimes else but this IIt thing is a golden opportunity( though every bit of me wants to go delhi).

however, I'm telling myself that it doesn't matter. I might have a small vacation but if you know my cousin you would rather choose not to visit him. Moreover I don't think he would even bother.

anyway, it's become the destiny of my dreams to get shattered, but my habit of dreaming is still there.
tonight may be the last night for my delhidreams.

delhidreams: something you wanted so badly but yet ,you have to go away from it.my dreams.
let me dream tonight. tomorrow could be the deathbed of my delhidreams.

dreams may die, dreaming will continue.

(adi dear, pardon me for stealing the title of your blog without asking you.couldn't resit the urge to use such a wonderful and apt name)

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My silence ,My protest

the situation of my college, my state compels me to protest. But we are going through such a time that everything is useless. they will do what they want and no one can do anything about that. I protest by my silence!!!

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Don't

"i'm fine ..I'm okay... just don't ever do a mistake."

"what mistake?"

"don't ever fall in love with me.then I'll not be able to control myself. and that day you'll loose a friend, and I'll loose one,too."

"how can I say so?? you never know..."

"I'm killing my love for you everyday a bit, and when I'll kill it totally I just don't want you to come and say that you love me"

"why are you killing it?"

"why shall i not?? if you don't kill it, you can't sustain. you are still in the same atmosphere, same places, the same canteen. same department, same lover's lane..and unless you kill it it'll keep on remionding you those special moments and will make you weak. and you don't want to get weak, because then it'll hurt you immensely which you don't want. you want to be fit and strong and fine..so you have no alternative than killing it.....

btw, are you ok?"

"what do you think?"

"I think you aren't. but I don't know you... all I can say that you don't have any reason to be guilty. so plz don't feel so. I'm fine and absolutely ok. But I've to do this, too.

you can't force your heart to love someone and you can do nothing if you don't love someone.so I really don't have any grudges or anything against you. I know it will not help you or anything..but don't feel guilty."

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Debris

another morning will come reminding me of you
another night will die reminding me of you.
it was your love, and the waiting for you
which made me travel all these days and nights;
now your smile will help me, reminding me of you.

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Missing You...

I was retired to my bed. but suddenlly I tought of the dream I had early this morning! and my mood became low...really low. I understood that I can't sleep like that. I need to share it. but right now I have no one to confide. Then I thought ,"Why not you all?" and so..here I am.. sharing my pain with you all.

That dream started like a filmy one. well.. it was about Baba, My father.
I dreamt that he's back and alive. but due to some reason ( amnesia probably) he is with someone else now, a lady other than my Mother. ( a typical ekta kapoor story i know, but let me that's relly irrevalent) But he now knows about us and came to visit us. I saw him coming to our home with the groceries we need.

later I went to another place where he was present. I saw him thinking. he was in pain coz though he wanted to get back to us, he couldn't. he asked me if I wanted to tell him anything. I shook my head to say no and was crying. then someone else asked me what about my plans to study abroad. I said I've cancealled that. Dad asked why and said I shouldn't do that.

that was all.. I woke up crying... the scars may have healed at the surface..but the wound is still there......

miss you baba..miss you....

feeling miserable!!

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What Can Be Done?

I know that we don't talk much in college. What can be done? We have to keep our affair hideen from the curious eyes.
I Know we don't stay together for much time after classes. What can be done? We got tired after classes and these days we have to leave the campus by 6:30pm.
I know that both of us look forward to the walk to the metro station after college. But then the metro comes and we have to depart leaving each other. What can be done? We have works at home, too.


But today you didn't come to college. I did attend classes till 4pm. Then with friends I went to canteen and quadrangle, finally went to the metro station and got back home. All the while missing you terribly!What can be done?? I love you with all my heart! Yes! I do love you with all my heart.

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the journey of love

The train was moving towards NJP. the night was slowly dying giving way to a new day: a new beginning. even the sleepless eyes were taking a nap. only 2 pairs of eyes were still open.

I was lying in my lower birth..She was sitting beside me. some letters were exchanged. I gave her 3. she gave me her 1st. and we were there.
her hands were on mine. I was in dilemma: should I look into the outside to see the birth of a new day or should I look into her eyes to see the birth of love?

she requested me to have a little bit sleep. I refused and said I didn't want to loose such a wonderful night by sleeping..
and the time flowed.
...................................
we were on the bus on the way to Gangtok. It was getting darker. Even the bubbly river was quiet. we were talking softly.But we were communicating more by the silence than the words.

we stayed at Gangtok for that night. That was the night for the proposal. I took her roommates into my team and discussed the plans with them. As planned, i went to their room with a tiny card and a tiny local chocolate. I gave her that.. she was kind of disappointed and asked me, that's all?
I was waiting for this question and so I took out the box of Swiss chocolate with the heart shaped opening and a card and told her," did u expect that I'd propose u with such a huge chocolate and a card like that kneeling down in front of you?"

......


We reached Lachung. It was dark by the time we settled down. the weather was chilly and the floor was wooden. the whole place was clam except our cacophony and the never ending music of Teesta, the gorgeous river.

we were at her room.her roommates were sitting at the staircase leaving us alone. she was sitting and I was lying at the bed. I was talking. don't know it was the effect of alcohol or her company which made me tipsy, but I was saying each sentence at least 3 times. Moreover, I was asking her whether I'm repeating my words. and ye..I asked her 3 times, too.
It was nearly midnight and so I asked our friends to come in. and when they came I said,"hello!!you shameless gits.. I was just asking u to be polite and U really came in??"
no wonder I was thrown out of the room!!

the next morning I received a letter from her.And we were on our way Yumesedong ( I'm sure the spelling is wrong). I was feeling like reading it every now and then. But I told myself that I'd read it once we reached at the spot. I'd read it while sitting beside the river. The waiting was memorable itself, like the journey. I realized that love is like hills: no wonder the destination is beautiful. but the journey is more beautiful.
when we reached there, it was really chilly. and though it was hurting to keep my naked hands outside my pocket, I started reading the letter. and the snowfall started. the tiny snowflakes were coming down to us, immortalizing the moment.

There were five more nights and countless moments that we spent together. Be it the evening beside the river when I threw a love note sealed in a empty pepsi bottle in the river, or be it the night at Pelling when we were sitting at the balcony and I was constantly encouraging her to ditch me, or be it the few moments in the returning train when we were talking and everyone was sleeping, or be it the moment when our friends and her roommates slept intentionally giving us the solitude of the room, or shall i tell you about the campfire night when the proff asked me to sing a song and I started singing "when you say nothing at all" for her...


We have talked, fight, laughed,cried and what not? But what I learned is that sometimes the journey is more important than the destination..and Love is one such a time.She's still confused and thinking.. But me, the ultimate commitment phobic have declared myself committed. strange?? no..it's love!!

Love you!!

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Why Do I Blog???

when I was a child, I used to pass my days by reading books. and thus slowly I fall in love with words and letters. Even at some point my ambition was to become an author. But as I grew up, I realized that whatever I can be, I can never write a book. But still...I love writing.

I used to write diaries, now I fill my journal whenever I feel like doing so. I even have a separate journal for the off periods in college. and thus writing is still on. I write about my feelings, my passions, my happiness, my sorrows, my failures, my success, my love, my pain: MY LIFE.

I don't want anyone to read my journal... cause I'm naked there. but at the same time, all my writings are for someone.. I want someone to come and read and understand me. and then one day soumyadip told me that he has started blogging. I blogged once more which died prematurely. but at the 2nd time I gave blogging another try, and voila!!! It was the exact thing that I was looking for.

the people who knows me won't ever find this, but some faceless starngers from different part of the globe started reading my 'meaningless crap's. and slowly the faceless starngers became friends. when I started blogging, I only knew one blogger, i.e, soumyadip, and now I know loads of them. and moreover, I know soum better.

and thus I started writing....and I keep on writing...and slowly i got addicted to blogging. The Blog became a balcony for me. a balcony where I can take a break from the hustles of my daily life, a balcony where I can go and sit and watch stars along with a coffee, a balcony where I meet my friends, a balcony without which the home called life would become so dull that living would get boring.
and I keep on blogging...

The Journey to NJP

The path we took
dawn
The train full of memories


the fading night


She with the 'connecting link'


this kid was siting opposite us along with his parents


I finally managed to catch a wink
As I have said in my last post, I went to Sikkim on college excursion for 7 days and 8 nights. The trip was so wonderful that at certain moments even I was spellbound and silent. But I'll talk about that later.

This trip is full of memories. And it's really hard to decide what I'll write about and what not. Anyway, I'll try to share certain things with my blogger friends, and there are loads of pics also.

We had so many plans to consecute on trains. No wonder none of the wicked 3 or 4 of us ,(including me,of course)didn't sleep at all. the 1st thing we did was to check who is sleeping and then we start rubbing toothpaste on their faces. one of our friend was actually dreaming that it was his birthday. so when he saw us rubbing toothpaste on his face, he thought it was the cream we are using. it took him half an hour,some photographs and the sound of laughter to realize what actually happened.

I reached a bit earlier in the station. And my eyes were looking for her. And there she cames, along with her brother and father. and smiled at me softly. we talked a bit on train and I hope you don't expect me to reveal every minute thing. :P

untill next post enjoy these snaps.

A Quick Post

I'm in hurry ..so writing this post very quickly.

1. Shuvo Bijoya everyone!!!

2. I'm going to Sikkim, the beautiful state, on college excursion. last excursion of our life as student..so all arrangements are made to enjoy it fully. I'm already so excited just by thinking about the weather and the wine that we'll be having..

3. it seems she's gonna be mine. she..the one I earlier blogged about... she, who told me that it could be a problem if I really fall for her..
she needs some time... she said that..but still, t seems that himalaya has something to offer my love life.


goodbye..I'l be back very soon!!!!

Puja Live: Sasthi

Sasthi!!! The starting of the Carnival.

I realized it's sasthi when the nearby clubs started to play some good old rabindrasangeet by some not so good singers. I went upstairs to see the actions in the thakurghar( the room for gods). My aunts were making the traditional bengali sweets there along with loads of adda. But soon I was called by my sis to handle the lights for decorating Ma Durga's surrounding. I was browsing through my Dad's collection of lights for the puja purpose. Dad is no more. But still the lights are adorning Maa Durga!!!

I woke up from an afternoon nap to find the Goddess has arrived with her sons and daughters and pets and enemy. But this year the coming is a bit different. Generally our idol resides in the priest's house and come during the pujas for someday. But this year, she has come to our place and we have no idea where she'll go back... seems like coming back of a married daughter to his maiden home for ever. well, the deity will manage her own home.

Next was the moment of dressing the idols up. and after dressing was the time for the jewelleries. We had no probs with that as my granddad has kept all the jeweleries in separate packets with a list of what jewelery is for whom. so after some hours they were ready to be presented before our eyes for the next year.

All the while I was feeling the presence of my dad and granddad in their work. of course the puja is not the same as it was used to be with them. But life continues...

happy sasthi!!!
sasthir preeti o shuvechha!!!

Puja Live: Panchami

panchami night. the 5th night of the new moon. one day before the biggest carnival of kolkata, Durgapuja, begins.

I still remember one incident. in our half yearly exam of standard 3 we were to write a paragraph on the panchami night. me, as stupid as usual, wrote all about the puja of our family and how much we enjoy it. later the teacher told my parents that this paragraph was supposed to be about panchami, not durgapuja. so it should have contained the waiting for sasthi ( the 6th day), the thrill of having new clothes and all.

after so many years I felt like re-writing the essay again. but before that let me do a survey, in small scale though.

Nabanita Datta, 3rd year student of B.Tech, feels that pancchami is the moment when along with the forthcoming happiness, she is a bit melancholic thinking about someone . someone with whom her relation has no name. someone she spend the last year with.

Dhruv Majumder of new Delhi thinks panchami is a gateway of an occasion which may divert her mind from the pain of the recent break up with her girlfriend. He has his classes to attend, but he has decided to skip Friday, the saptami, to spend some time alone and with the deity.

Debalina Bagchi, post-graduate student of Botany, Presidency College, Is really happy on panchami night as her boyfriend is coming back to kolkata the very next day. though she has to miss her friends this time. she's really looking forward to spend some time with her love.

I could have asked some more people, But I didn't. because, the scene is more or less same everywhere. Now that leaves only one. Me. what do I think this time??

Some of the idols have arrived to the nearby puja pandals, our idol will come tomorrow from the priest's house. the lights adorning the houses of the locality are shining. The house has been given a fresh look. The pujo special issues of the books are almost finished. I don't have any thrill about wearing new clothes, neither do I feel anything about pandal hopping. The puja has just become an excuse to spend some time with the friends.

but, But I know that The moment I'll hear the dhaaks beating, the chanting of the anjali being offered, the girls looking mind blowing in their mother's saris I'll have an unmanageable urge to meet the chief guest of the carnival, Ma Durga.

best wishes of panchami. for the Bengali souls, panchamir preeti o shuvechcha..

Recipe for Disaster

Disclaimer: don't try this at home. and even if you did, don't you dare ask someone to taste it if you love your life.


Take 100 gms of milk powder. add some flour.make a dough with some milk. make small balls and deep fry those. Add the fried balls in sugar syrup. and all the while think you are making gulab jamuns which will melt in your mouth.

some more things if you don't want to miss the disaster. Use a candle for cooking as the kitchen light will not work. lafter looking for oil, got that from your grandma. steal some resins from your mom's stock to put inside the balls.

When I took the 1st ball in my mouth, I immidiately knew it's anything but gulabjamun. Yet, mom said these are tasty after having one herself. and Vikram, my 10year old cousin, who always manages to have an headache ( as an excuse for not having my food) whenever I ask him to have something made by me; that Vikram is begging me for some more of these.
anyway, the credit must go to the milk powder which is tasty in any form (except the solution in hot water)

Second Adolescence

I had planned to post something regarding Mahalaya. but this blog just don't let me post something meaningful. the incessant rain seems to have stopped. but the water is still clogged in. and in the 2nd day of the vacation I'm again having blues.

I was feeling so bad when I realized that I was not feeling very comfortable while reading a book. reading was a thing I love. I can't imagine myself without books. but probably because of the backpain I was constantly changing positions in bed while reading. moreover the story has a gloomy end. :(

these days it seems as if I'm in my 2nd adolescence. the same alienated feeling, the blues and all. in fact some moments ago I was thinking whether I should stop blogging. I know some of my blogger friends will miss me fo a few weeks but then...nah!!
but I can't stop it for myself. blogging is what gave me a platform to talk about me. well...though it sounds very selfish and egoistic, but it's not. I meant to say here I can express what I feel. my passions, my pain, my happiness. so even if I post very little, I can't leave it. It has become a part of me.

anyway... after typing these things the mood is a bit brighter, like the sunshine outside.(I'm lying..no sun is shinning outside) so no more brooding...
happy puja to everyone. Maa Durga will heal our scars.

Greens 'n' Dark

Boys to Men

2 days ago I was watching 'Lizzie McGuire', my favourite show, on Disney channel. That episode shows the confusion regarding the tranformation from boy to man. The episode was wonderful, as all disney ones are. But that gave me some food for thought: When did I became a man shedding my boyhood?

ok. 1st let me confess,I can't consider myself a complete man( so no raymonds for me :P) until I start earning, but it's also true that I don't call myself a boy anymore (ignore the moments when I do something for a girl and she says ,"oh dwai, what a good boy you are")
But when did I transform. The Dwaipayan who came out from Hare School was definitely a boy.infact the plus 2 classes were actually the transition phase.But the dwai who comes out of Presidency College after his graduation( and again re-entered there) is a man!! more matured, more practical.

the lonely,introvert guy who always had problems in making friends has become some sort of amiable thing. the guy who had only a handful friends at school now had friends all over the collage and the globe. and some of his close friends haven't even seen him. The college years did this makeover( or was it the company of girls?)

but what was the moment when the transformation occured?? was it my 1st depression or 1st smoke?? 1st gulp of alcohol or the first kiss?? the moment of discovering something softer than butter or the moment when we decide to split up?? the 1st shave was pretty close to be that moment but there are many important part of being a man than the 1st shaving.

I think I got it. the moment when I grew up to be a man was the moment of betrayal. when I realized that my supposedly best friend was never a friend and was actually exploiting me and others.

that was my moment of transformation. what was yours??
(ladies,the question is not for you. coz we all know the answer:P)

The Foot-Bridge

The Paradox of Life

I published my last post on 4th . 5 days has passed since. I thought of writing about so many topics but haven't done a single one.

I'm quitting smoking 3 times everyday. Everyweek I'm promising myself that I'd finish the anatomy assignment that is already pending for 3 weeks. And the list is endless. We are supposed to have an hectic schedule but as the study has become an extracurricular activity for me (except for the exam days) I have loads of time to spend on net and with myself. No wonder, my head is filled with useless thoughts.

Sometimes I wait for a letter that I know is never gonna come. last night at around pm I went out and I thought something was in my letter box. but I forget to check that out while coming back. but at 11:30 pm I was so sure that the letter has finally arrived. I even went downstairs with the key... no prize for guessing that the letter box was as empty as ever.

I'm not sure why I'm writing all this crap here. I have no idea. I planned to wrote something else actually , but the words just came out.

btw, can I put blogging in the list of my extracurricular activities??

Eventful Life

Friday: altercation with the 2 lazy asses we have as ourr lab mates

Saturday: attending a boring theoritical class of 2 hours and then bunking another one which is supposed to be of 4 hours to go to 'Olypub' a famous and cheap watering holes of Kolkata.

Sunday: going to a friend's place to reharse for the programme on Teacher's day.

Today: getting in in college only to find an angry HOD and a suspension on us fo r bunking the class.(well, can't blame him..only 4 was present representing the 23 students)..and after a lot of discussion Mr.Hitlar decleared that we all have to get a letter from our gurdian stating the cause of our absence.

we were just wondering whether to submit the xerox copies of the bills along with??
I told mom the story representing myself as the most innocent and always inclined to attend classes type of student. and she's ready to sign any letter that I write for her!!

Meaning of Life

when I was a kid ( mentally I still am), I used to wait for the day when I'll grow up. and I grew up.Sat for so many exams, cracked some, failed in others. one year ago doing the masters course in botany was very important for me, but now I'm counting days for the course to be finished. Boring practicals, soporific theories... I'm going through all this all the while looking forward to the puja vacation which will be from 22nd sept to 31st oct and will include an excursion to sikkim from 9th to17th of oct. Ffter the vacation, I'll do classes waiting for the christmas holidays. And once that is over, I've to survive through 4 months of continuous classes and an exam at the end. After that ...I don't know.
Probably a course on advertising and a job after that. Now I think it'll be a smooth journey once I get a job, but I know it won't. I know I'll look forwrd to something else then and the days will pass waiting for that.
All these thought made me think, is life all about waiting?? Is life all about passing days??

jindagi kya din kaatne ka naam hain??

Only time can answer

The Day before D-day

proffs and stuffs reharsing for their song


doing the board
we reharsing for the 'shrutinatok' ( can u spot me??)
making the decoration: the begining


making the decoration: stage two


the decoration: complete

Preparation

today we have a depertmental programme. farewell of two proffs and welcoming two new ones. among the five years of students of the depertment. only we(msc second year) and bsc 1st years are available now. so the work load is entirely upon us.
planning the events, placing the orders for food and flower, looking for the gifts, negotiating with the teachers about everything...but it's fun!!
and once proff was creating probs, wasnt releasing 2 of us yeaterday to reharse and was taking a huge practical. our friends send another proff to rescue us and we were saved. but when reharsal was over, we were called by him to complete the work. we did. but later while switching off all the instruments I found out that the two stupid labmates of us hasn't switched off the UV light and have done all the work in the Uv light. we also have wrked under it for around half an hour.

last night suddenly I woke up with a pain in my eyes, both eyes were extremly irritating and tear was constantly coming out. this continued for around 1 hour.still now it's not fully ok. I was wondering if that was due to UV radiation. I just prayed so that I do not get blind.

will see an opthalmologist tomorrow. but just now a senior reassured me that UV do not have such effects. I never look forward to have any alergy in my eyes. let it be alergy, it will gone by eye drops..

update: today I found out that the pain was indeed due to exposure to UV light. the two culprits couldn't come to college because of the pain in their eyes. All sirs advised us to take vitamin c for some days and to visit the doc.

I just wonder whether I should insure my life or not. but the only preventive method is to work wearing a space suit. anybody want to sell 2nd hand space suit??

Missionary Position

Bloom

Sleepless

It was 21:30. I was coming home from a friend's place. The traffic was less, the street lights have retired. The only light was coming from some shops and the waiting taxis.Tired peoples were returning to their den. I came home.

after cyberspace got boring, I confined myself to my room and had a smoke, only to realize I'd better skip that. put off the light and tried sleeping, but I was insomniac.after postponing the musci system' sleep timer several times, finally switch on the light again and resumed my half finished story. I couldn't finish it, nor could I sleep.

thinking about the uncertained future, our incomplete family... I was writhing in my bed. i woke up this morning to find 8am in the clock. last night has passed. how many more to live through?

Independence Day; Spent in My Way

15th August,2006. 12:30 pm.
I had a shower and a shave( a shave after 12 days, because of the mourning period), get into my t shirt and cargos, put the cam in my bag and went out for the rest of the day. while going to the bus stop I caught some men fishing in a pond. with so many audience that seemed to be a competition. fishing, a hobby I acquired after the long vacations to 'mamabari' . a hoby I highly enjoyed. but after so many years of being out of touch, I can't even hook a worm to the line, neither can I release the fish from the line.
I moved on.
1:30 pm, College street
One of the four famous days of college street sale. You can pick up old books in the cheapest rate from here. no wonder I bought 6 books at 65 rs only. and any visit to college street is incomplete without a visit to my college, the place I belong to.
So I get in by the main gate, which I've never seen closed except at chaos of election, when it remain closed to prevent outsiders from entering the campus.
The empty campus gave me a feeling of emptyness. I deided to spend some time with myself, alone. I took the path of lover's lane, lit up a gold flake and inhaled the 1st patch of nicotine. I walked a bit and sat at one of the small stairs which I've always seen to be used as a bench for couples( also used by myself). and I looked up. I could see a bit of sky here and there through the canopy of the green leaves of the peppal tree. The lamp post beside that was standing with its head held high. I got intoxicated by the sounds of trams passing by, caws of the crows on the tree branches, the memories and the charming campus.

4:30 pm, City Centre, Saltlake
I joined the anti reservation movement organised by the 'Youth For Equality'. they have organised a candle lit march. we marched through the rains. liting up the extinguished candles from the next man. there were loads of boys and girls from the technical instis. so it was a cacophony of anti reservation mixed with curses and comments about the girls.
but yet, they were united for a cause. and my independence day ends with it.

I came back home thinking of the day when I'll be independent financially and emotionally.

The Presidencian Charm

College has started . the classes are in their full glory. our classes over sometimes at 4pm sometimes at 7. but we don't leave the campus before 8pm these days. it's become an unwritten rule to go to canteen or quadrangle after classes and enjoying some good time. 3 or 4 of us, my camera, some cigarettes...and the time passes by.

I never used to stay that late in college campus. but this year being my last year in presidency college, something attracts me towards the quadrangle. just one more year, after that it'll be not like this anymore. I'll definitely visit Presi, but at times only. my 2nd home, which become a place more cozier than my 1st home, since 2002 august, will bade me farewell after just one more year.


These days when i sit there and feel the day turning into evening, the lamps being switched on, i feel a pain. a pain that is yet to come, but which will definitely come. the pain of separation. like a lover feels when he knows his loved one will go away from his life after some days.

Presidency College!! a place which remolded my personality, changing the naive school boy to a more matured man. a place where you found some friends, without whom life would be monochromatic. 1st affair, 1st love. felling of being loved, feeling of being rejected.

Getting a rose for my crush and finally giving her that. packing my 1st love letter in a bag full of rose petals: all my friends were tearing the petals and filling the bag. I gave it to her in the corridor, she tried to take out the letter, the petals came out and flows everywhere..she picked them up one by one.
having a date and got late by 4 hours due to a sudden class- but she was still there- making it up with my first kiss.
breaking up and returning all the things we ever gave each other..and later becoming friends again.


Playing with the overflowing water of the water tank. splashing buckets of water when all the colours have finished in Holi. laughing continuously after the bhang. dancing so hard in a college party that while coming back home you felt like dancing in the road. taking part in all the contests and loosing in the very 1st round. bunking classes to go shopping or a movie.
collecting all the money form friends and sharing 2 plates of chopsuey among 5 of us. having wine in the college field, pouring in tea cups, pretending that to be red tea.
lying in the field in winter, playing with friends, and seeing the stars shining in the night sky.

Arranging a programme, acting in a skit, singing in chorus as no one dare to sing alone, and fighting for the food after that. acting on the stage of the auditorium after 1 month of preparation, seeing only 25 viewers are there , half of whom are our friends, forgetting my lines, dancing in my shorts, the song being played at wrong time..yet a success.


Presidency College reminds me of all these and many more. No wonder each day I surrender more to her charm than ever before.

Summery

One year of course during which I attened all the lectures but not studied at all. One month of study leave during which I read, not my notes( better say my friend's notes which I've photocopied), but all the storybooks I've bought but haven't read. 10 days of exams during which I spent average 5 hours on internet chatting, reading and viewing erotica.
And I got 67.2%.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shillong luck has shone again!!!

P.S. Special thanks to Aklanta for listening to my pre-result blues and giving me his worthy advices. It helped a lot dude.

( waiting for the congratulations:P)

Stripped

kahi dur jab din dhal jayee

From The Horse's Mouth...

In a recent post I put some lines of a song by a popular bengali band, the 1st bengali band. Reading the translated lines, a blogger friend asked me to send him the song and later to send him the translated lyric.After lots of looking over I finally managed to retrive the cd from my untidy collection. And since them I'm listening to it. Thank you The Comic Project, for sending me down the memory lane once again.

'Mohiner Ghoraguli'( some also says Moheener Ghoraguli), was the 1st bengali band. which became popular after 20 years of their formation. It's around 30 years, and no college fest can take place in bengal without performing a Number opf them.
I accquinted with these songs during my +2 years. I liked some songs. Didn't like some.But now when I listen to these, it feels kinda nostalgic. Out of the four albums , I own two.But thanks to internet all the songs are availavle these days. nowadays I like most of their songs, But some are my all time favourite..through out the 7 years.

It has always been my deepest desire to sing "porasunoi jolanjoli bhebe" in front of our whole depertment at any of the programmes, but I was never allowed to do so. Or take the song," dhandar thekeo jotil"(more puzzling than riddles) which always depicts my mental condition whenever i fall in love( so far 33.59 times). though i never like cricket as a game, i immensely like the song "cricket" which talks about similarity of life and cricket. there are many more... but nowadays my favourite is "aashai aashai bose aachi"( waiting in hope) by the founder of the band Goutam Chattopadhyay.

Here I put some of the songs for you to listen .If anybody likes these and want more, contact me( or you know where to get those). And i'm working on to translate some of the lyrics, so that our non-bengali friends can also enjoy the songs with their meaning.

Prithibita naki choto hote hote
Manush chena daai
Porasunoi jolanjoli bhebe
dhandar thekeo jotil tumi
Priya Cafe
Aashai aashai bose aachi
Cricket

Goodbye Dadu, Goodbye forever

He was 92. I always knew it'd happen someday, but it still hurts. of course this time it's not as shocking as Dad's, but the feeling of loss is there.
I don't have to lie to anyone after a bad exam saying the paper was good, because he won't be there to get tensed. No more excuses to come home late night, no more quarreling over which channel to watch on TV and how long to keep watching. No one will bug me repeatedly again to get the things for him from the market, neither I have to stand in the long ques of the medicine shop again.
My introducer to the english films... he used to tell me the stories of Hamlet and we used to watch the movies on Doordarshan together..me understanding not a single word..i was in pre-nursery.

Teaching me before the entrance exam to Hare school, me getting pissed over his long list of questions and long hour of studies. but he helped me to bag the 9th position out of the 40 students chosen from the 300 examinees.

His endeavour to teach me Sanskrit enable me to manage the subject for 7th and 8th standard with scoring not so bad marks, at least i was better in it than english. but he tried his best to teach me narration. voice change and all that. but the 'fankibaaj' in me always managed to mess up the lessons.He helped me to pass my maths exams till standard eight, after that I had a tutor.

loads of memories. he always used to love me a bit more than his other grandchildren. At times I got a bit more money than the others to buy my Puja dresses. i still use the umbrella he got as a gift and kept that for me. himself using our rejected raincoats in the rains.
24 years of my memories... turned into ashes today early morning. all the rituals were like deja vu. only this time my uncle in my place.

the mourning period will be over in 14 days, but the pain will remain. His empty bed, the empty room, his voice no more calling our names...

Another name has added in the list of my deceased ancestors for 'tarpan' in the mahalaya.

Threesome

I was walking on college street with the cam in my hands, looking for something to shoot. and I heard them.
" dada, dada, amader photo tolo" ( take our pic)
and here is what I did.
I know it's not what u'll call a good photograph. but hey, I've just started( good excuse to cover up my faults, ain't it??)

1Year and 26 Days

Yes. I started blogging on 6th july, 2005. it was my 2nd try at blogging. my 1st blog which contained only 1 post somwtimes during 2003, dies prematurely lacking care.
however, "meaningless crap" survived. may be it's because of the name. may be it's because my cousin has also started a blog around that time, and so it kinda influenced me to post and re-post. though at that time i'd do anything to deny this fact, but after almost 13 months of blogging, blog hopping, getting accquiented with so many bloggers, some of whom became my friend beyond the blogs...i can say, thank you. thank you Rintu.

as i said, i started blogging just like that. i didn't even have any idea what my 1st post would be about. but then it was time for results of my graduation. so i just typed a few lines on that. the journey started from that post. and since then my blogger friends are with me.. through out the depression and suicidal thoughts period, getting in Presi once more to do my msc, attending the lectures with my mind thinking how to get material for a post... and i know they will be with me when i'd leave botany and will go for something else.. advertising.
i know, YOU will be with me.

I'm not extending this post by mentioning the names and links of people who enriched me with their comments, blogs and their cyber presence ( that would make this post lengthier than the script of kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi). i will not thank you people, because friends don't thank each other. i'd just say, be there.

and the journey continues...

Mail... E-Mail

The dream which I've seen maximum no. of times is the one about finding my letterbox full with letters and most of these bearing my name. In the last 10 years, I've seen this numerous times.
It doesn't take Freud to interpret this dream. I love getting letters and really love to get them..I've pen pals over the year- a bond formed by the letters with those faceless strangers.
with the advent of technology my pen pals were replaced by chat friends; yahoo messenger and GMail taking the place of pen and paper.
But I still love to get letters, though now I hardly get one in a year. on the contrary my inbox is always full of new emails.
E mails: Electronic mails. extremely fast. I don't have to worry anymore about what the fate of the letter would be.Neither I have to wait for 15 days to have a reply( the prompt one). sometimes the reply comes within a minute.but... as my cousin once wrote, Emails lack personal touch.

let me explain. my cousin and me used to keep in touch through letters.our relationship grew over the years through the letters and then emails and now blogs.
we still email, call and keep in touch. but emails lack the speciality. unless u count the latest ways by which my cousin irritates me in the mails, there's nothing to established that it's the mail coming from him. I mean, emails bear just some typed characters... without any uniqueness. any Tom-Dick-Harry could have typed that. it doesn't have the unique ornate scrolls characterising his letters or the bad handwriting proclaiming to be a letter from me.

the Internet has done so many things. but it took away the personal touch. moreover, now we think..yeah..we'll send this..but ultimately we don't.

the world is getting smaller and smaller
it's now restricted to the satellite and Internet
but you and me are drifting apart
more distant than two stars,
thousands light years apart.


[ a bad try to translate a famous Bengali song by the band Mohiner Ghoraguli(the horses of Mohin)...the whole India now knows the tune of this song..humming it to be bheegi bheggi si hain..]

Another Year

Bored by a month long vacation, I was eagerly waiting for my classes to resume. Yesterday I went to college and was greeted by a Prof warmly:
" how dare you take microbiology as special paper?"
I lied innocently," sir, I like the subject"
him:" but I don't like you"
I felt like saying " that is your bloody problem, go to the HOD and complain." but instead i said some more innocent lies.

after settling down a bit I eyed the room which I've been seeing for the last 4 years- which is gonna be my home for all the Thursday and Friday of this educational year.
the long green table,where we have to manage some space by shifting aside numerous glass apparatus and bottles of every shape and size containing chemicals of all the possible colours. bottles of alcohol( but not a single one is drinkable..sigh!), two autoclaves, which are giant pressure cooker to be precise; 3 incubators - where to bake a cake was my fantasy.The AC of the adjacent culture room provides some comfort from the hot and humid climate outside.
and I started doing my 1st lab work of this year. work gives me an excuse to keep myself busy. moreover this 1 year at this lab probably enable me to write a book called " How to sustain in unfavourable conditions"
the work finished at 5:30 pm. me, debarchana- my lab mate and only hope in those 2 days of the week, chingridi aka shuvamitadi- the playnology research scholar and my best buddy in college nowadays-went out together. the violent rain started even before we managed to get out of the Baker Laboratories Building. as we were advancing towards the shelter of the canteen shielded by our umbrellas we spotted the librarian ma'am walking along getting drenched in rain.
the 1st years were enjoying their 1st rain in the college, singing and dancing in rain with friends.we cherished our memories over 3 cups of equivalent of tea.
when we set for home one hour later, college street has flooded. when i reached the next crossing and managed to find a bit of land still visible above water, i empathize with the sailors who spot land after months of tiring voyage at the sea.

the day started as a boring one, but however I enjoyed it. not to mention the cold and cough as the side effect.

today when another Prof asked me," why did you take microbiology as special paper? what's your future plans?"felt like saying the truth , but what emerges from my mouth was the typical lie," i like the subject, sir."

Vulnerable

8 blasts in Mumbai. granade attack in Kasmir. red alert in delhi and kolkata. deadbodies everywhere.

earlier when i used to read 150 people has been killed in an accident, i thought that only 150 persons were affected. later my own experience taught me that 150 death means 150 suffering families.

i can never ride a two wheeler again in my life. neither can my sister. i just wonder how the children of the mumbai blast victimes were feeling. will they ever be able to ride a train again??
the youngman ,who has come back to kolkata hearing news of losing her full family in amarnath, could he ever go on a vacation??

hundreds of kids have become orphan last evening. smile from thousand faces has wiped away. who to blame?? we can't blame anyone. we have nothing to do. we can only accept the fact. they are no more.

kolkata and delhi are also under red alert. kolkata, which we used to think as the safest place in india, is also under threat. we know if terrorists ever choosed to attack here, metro rail would be their target. yet we'll travel by metro. we pass the journey reading, chatting, thinking, sleeping. if the attack comes..thousands of mutilated bodies will be available- some hands still clutching a newspaper, some faces with some unuttered words.

we all are deeply mourned by the news. but it won't affect us. it never does. i'll go college after some time. as it reopens today after almost a month, we friends will have long awaited talks, we'll discuss movies and gossip, we'll be lost in our own world.
you'll be going to ur office,busy in ur own work, checking anf forwarding mails..

just one thing will be common to all of us.
WE ARE VULNERABLE

Blue

as i have mentioned in my earlier post, out of boredom i was thinking this:

If blue signifies melancholy, why are blue films named so??
and I found out some resons ,too. here are the reasons for the interested people.

1. if you are not a 1st timer, or a 2nd timer, third timer, not even a fourth timer or fifth timer,( may be not a 6th timer, too)- you'd be depressed by the monotony!!

2.the films are made to watch in the faint light of night lamp- which could be blue in many cases.

3. frustrated people ( who become so for some sort of excess melancholy) are the primary target audiance..( viewers accept it. we are frustrated!!)

4.you become melancholic after seeing a film and realizing that the only object that sucks is our life or our job.


5. and you're bound to be in blue if you even dare to make the mistake of comapring your own things with their monsterous 'assets'.

and thinkng about this points made be a victim of blue..

doba doba doob doob..i'm in blue.

Live from Shillong

writing form a cyber cafe at Laban, Shillong. it's 5:41pm and the weather is a fine cool one...and extremely enjoyable.
i'm having a great time reading books, watching tv, eating great food and roaming around shillong...it's awesome..

ok ..enough, now shall i say the truth??
the weather is fine..so is everything. but my mood is not. i just hate myself. having mood swings..and i have become so lazy that today i was not even feeling like thinking...it's weird..i find myself tired of reading books, watching tv and sleeping.

what does i want man????i don't know..(and the bad thing is that i can't even kick my own ass)
2 days ago i was scribbling down my book at night and i was in blue. helpless..thinking about her..and why does it happen to me(everyone thinks so, na??)..
and suddenly a thought occured to me..
if blue means depression or sadness why are blue films called so??
i even managed to find some answer..but that i'll write later..(the book's not with me..and my memory..worse than a floppy)

anyway, my lazy ass is getting more lazy...and i think if i manafge this rate..a sloth will reach kolkata for me..

sorry, i'm off

this is to notify that i'll be not available for somedays..i'm going shillong to have a vacation. i know i'm not writing for quiet a long time..but i promise,after coming back i'll resume again with a new spirit

The Winner

this is to notify that d4u has won the contest and the pic is of a fan, as i manipulated the camera settings, the fan blades didn't show up.

and as the winner's prize she has won the rare oppertunity of seeing the fan picturised. so d4u, come kolkata and see it..

A silly Question!!

bought digicam yesterday. naturally i'm feedling with the gadget whenever i can manage a bit time. here is a pic(modified partly) I shoot 20 mins ago. Guess what is this??

there'll be a prize foor the correct guess!!u surprise me by guessing it right, and i'll surprise u by saying what the prize is..

kyunki.... the new leap

somedays ago i read that ekta kapoor's kyunki... is taking na new generation leap(again!!!) and I just thought wat the song will be like..

but i've written it in hindi. and to the people who doesn't know the language. i'm sorry. coz people who doesnot know hindi, know neither ekta kapoor nor kyunki...
and i don't have the capability to explain all this...
for the rest, here it goes...

tara rang tararang...
itrin tiring ting tiriring tiring tiring ting..
kyunkiiiii saas bhi kabi bahu thi
kyun ki baa abhi amar hogiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
tarra rang tarra tarang
aaur ek generation aayegiiii
baa fir bhi zinda rahegiiii
viewers bore honge,
characters fir bhi larenge, aar extramarital affairs karenge


kuynki......ekta kappor serial bandh nahi karegiiii
or hazaro character layegi.....
dadi nati ki bahen si lagegi, fir bhi uski biwi ko dategiiii
bullshit problems , they will create now and then,
but viewers fir bhi dekna bandh nahi karenge
kyunki o bhi klabhi bahu banengiiiiiiiiii(yah fir unke ghar me bhau layenge)

tarang tarang tang tararang tarang tarang tang..

amen!!!

The Collage

hello people!!!
I'm writing this post to tell u about a new blog,me and 3 of my blogger friend has started. we're planing to write stories there, but each blogger will write an episode of the story only. as we are only 4 members now, we'll have to do some rounds each. the first episode of the 1st story has already been published, and the 2nd episode is brewing ...

in this endeavour of us, we need ur visits to the blog to encourage us. and only u can make our work worth working...

we have name the blog, " The Collage" as the stories will be the collage of our ideas. we know our limitations. the 4 of us are not very mature, neither any of us has exceptional writing ability. but with all our flaws we are trying to build a new thing...only u can make it last.....

it's my earnest request to u all....plzzzz visit and revisit.

and we'll be highly delighted if any of u want to take part in this venture.
as the blog has just born and all the blogger has their exams, the blog doesn't have all the things it should. however, I promise that the necessary things will be added soon....
so here's the link once again...
http://www.the-collage.blogspot.com/

and i'm loking fwd to ur visit...

ur friend
dwaipayan

our brain child has just born...only u can help him to be a graduate one day!!!

keywords

two of my latest visitors have came to meaningless crap looking for ".miss jammu in blue film" and "sexual tenis players" ....

I apologize to this two special visitors not being able to satisfy their demand!!! naturally their visit last for 0 second only!!!

The Connection!!

well....this post is about a old incident. it happend last october when I went to Gaya to perform some rituals for my dead father.
the ritual was to be performed at four places(the last one due to his accidental death). along with some more people we hit the 1st place which is called the river 'Falgu'. just after getting down from the autoricksaw, we were surrounded by numerous priests who started constantly asking me questions about my ancestors.
(the thing is that there is one priest or 'panda' for each place) and when I named the place from Bangladesh my ancestors are from. they got a old man. who asked me the name ofd the village. I only knew the name of the district and the village. he then tell me name of some police station and asked me whether that was correct or not. I had no clue. but my grandmother who accompanied us. has spend some years there. So she assured that it's the right place and he's the priest for us. so the rule is that our ancestors were came and perform the ritual by the help of his ancestors. and their family is the priest family of us.

fine...but there as yet to come. when I started the ritual with the other priest( the main one. the family priest is a minor one), he came back. but with 3 or 4 heavy and old handwritten books with him. he asked my surname. I told "dhar Chowdhury" and he started reading out all the Dhar Chowdhurys along with their address from those books to see whether my ancestors were there or not.
by this time another family has warned us that if we tell them that our ancestors are really inn the list, they will claim 4 or 5 thousands rupees from us and unless we give that , they won't let us go.
me, my sister and my mother was prepared. and we told my grand mom and her sister inlaw(the sister of my grand dad) about this, and not to say anything.

he was still going on.
and he took name of a relative.the grand moms were elated.
" ye ye, it's a relative"
we gave a cold look to them.
then after naming some more relatives they took name of te grand dad of my grand dad. and the grandmoms said ,"it's family" we again looked at them. the said,"relatives actually"
the preist was a bit startled. but he continued. and he then named the dad of my grand dad, we said,"relatives may be, but not in the family"
the grandmoms were secretly looking at each other with a "i've-to-say-i-don't-recognize-my dad" look. but we were helpless. it was the only solution from their hulliganism.
so each time, he mentioned one from the family, grandmoms gave the same look but said,"no, not in the family". we had to pay the priest around 100 rs. and went to the nest venue.

after we came home, grandmoms were still in kind of shock," we had to say we dont know my dad or my grand dad, but it was the only way"

well, I couldnot write it that well...but u would died laughing if u have seen their manners at that time....
anyways, now I think I should go back to my studies...exam is mere 22 days away, and heaps of syllabus to finish...

The Lesson

tell me, what's the worst curse for men?
...
...
...
still thinking??? it's very easy... the answer is to accompany a woman while shopping.
people who do not agree with me, should try it once and ur opinion would definitely change. and the men who agree with me, must have gone through some unfortunate experiences like me..

I knew it... but I had a vague idea. I used to think that this happens only if we accompany mother or some aunts, even some friends or elder sisters also causes the same thing. but I was damn sure that my younger sisters won't make me go through this.
so the naive me agreed when my cousin, who just sat for H.S. exam this year, asked me to take her to do some shopping. we went to the mall...and started browsing.. to buy 1 shirt and 1 t-shirt for me and she got 5 paiece of garments. and it took sort of 2 hours. but we must have covered atleast 10 kms. seems unbelievable????ok...
let me give u a quick description of yesterday.

we went in. and started seeing somethings we were least bothered to buy and neither have the money to buy. then we started checking some homemaker's stuff. finally after 30 to 45 mins we went to the upstairs to see the garments. ( i just realized it's impossible for me to recollect that shocking experience)

finally we went out with our aching legs and came back

I learnt a very important lesson..
wemen!!. be they 2 years or 12 or 20 or 42 or 70 , they all have the innate capacity do shopping and more browsing than shopping and they specially browse the things that they had no intention to buy. and the things that they buy, they choose after seeing hundred others and they try that 4 to 5times... and if u want to escape this , donate the content of ur wallet to them and go catch a movie. by this time the movie ends, they may finish..
(I think that's why the multiplexes are situated adjacent to the shopping malls)...and if they haven't yet, pray!!!!!

The Gadget Mutiny, 2006

I knew it was to happen oneday, but I had no idea that it'd be just 1 month before the exam. but then, it's the best strategy to strike when ur enemy is busy with something else. and the electronic gadgets of my home take the full advantages of the study leave before my exams!!!

guess who's the leader??bang on!!!it's the thing i'm composing this post from!!!MY COMP...I wrote about the problems it cause in some posts.. but now the scene is different.. earlier it used to cause problems for which I had to call a mechanic over and fix it. but not now!! now it's showing me that it has it's own mind and won't do anything unless it wants to do that.. what??u need an explaination??here it is...

around a week ago, it suddenly said that my sound card is having some problem and so I could not lay any songs. I thought may be...but just to prove me wrong the next day, it starts working finely....I was happy thinking that it's been fixed. but no!!!the next time I switched on the PC, sound device was not working again...it was like this since this morning..and I was even started to think that may be it has some problems and I should call help..and guss what???I'm listening to music in it for last 1 hr...
not only that, sometimes, it shows that the sound device is working finely, but when I play a song....it just doesn't play it...
(and I'm not saying anything about the it's swinging moods when the firefox stops responding!!!)

but may be I could do with that. but no, my comp has spread the word of revolution to all my households gadgets.. and as a result starting from my scientific calculator to my music system....everyone has joined the non-co operation movement!!!

My music system..the beautiful 2000 watts sony one.. it has excellent report of conduct. but not anymore... now most of the time I try to play a CD, it says there's a mechanical error.. but without doing anything, it plays the songs sometime later..

the refrigerator, a vetera one..has also joined them.. and though it doesn't causes much trouble, once it took 36 hours to set up an ice cream!!!

the calculator!!!!!uff!! that day at the exam hall I switched it on, it it started showing meaningless signs...even colours of rainbow!!!but after I fought a bit with it, it gave in and starts doing maths like a good boy!!!

I bought a device, which can make good froth using milk and sugar, thinking that it can make wonderful coffee. and just after using 2 times....it has stopped working.

the wareless phone...two days ago, we found that the balance is 100 rs less than it should be, though after talking to the customer care all my family members think that it's my 10 yrs old cousin who's responsible for this by calling some voice service, I highly doubt.. I think my pc must have convinced my goody goody phone to join them and reap us off all our balances...but I think it has left their allies after my sis threw the phone on knowing the missing balance thing...

there are still more...we had a desktop calender like electronic thing... which always start chiming at 2 or 3 am. and says that someone has fixed alarm to do so.. u want to believe it????

the last one to join the gang is my vcd come mp3 player. well, it was night time...I was gonna play some 'exciting' movie. and...due to the revolution all I could see was some passing still pictures....and frustration came in place of excitation!!!
but the next time it works finely...

so all they want is to bug me constantly!!!and they are not telling their demands to me. so I dnt know what to do. anyway, one piece of good advice before putting an end to this,
beware!!!!my comp may connect to ur comp using the internet. and if it can convince ur one to join their side, u r also in trouble like me!!! so do something and suggest some ways by which I can put this damn mutiny off!!!!

The World is Spinning

I had flu...(due to drinking ice tea with 11 ice cubes at 10pm)...i was sneezing like hell the whole monday...so i took 2 tabs fot the cold...but as I couldn't sleep in college, they couldn't work....so I took another in afternoon....it worked a bit...but the temperature remained....so I took a tab for fever at night....then another in the next morning...
so i was fit by tuesday 11am...but on that very day after waking up from my afternoon nap i saw the room revolving 5 complete turns...It was wonderful!!!As if I got stonned!!!

I didn't care and went out to library for which i had to walk around 15 mins....

at evening, i went out with a friend to another one's place....and again ....
at night while chatting, I noticed it again...
one of my friend asked me to measure it in RPM....and i carefully count that my brain is rotating at 12-15 rpm..he asked me to put a brake in my neck and said that it had worked for him...but as i'm unware of how a brake works...i couldn't do that....
went to sleep early....but then for a change decided to study a bit...so I studied...then saw some exciting movie....
and tried to sleep...
and I developed sea sickness...
i had to, after all my bed was riding the waves and the motion was constant....
when i woke up 45 mins ago, i saw the waves have clamed down....but there's a bit of motion...
I got off the bed, thought of walking on the sea but couldn't find it anywhere, came online and start blogging....

(p.s. i think i'm becoming an incorrigible blogger, coz last night while riding the waves in my bed i was thinking about how shall i put all these in this post!!!)

moral of the story:
You are alive if you are moving.
My brain has resurrected...(no wonder some people celebrated easter somedays ago)

Feynman says....

All the time you’re saying to yourself, “I could do that, but I won’t”—which is just another way of saying that you can’t.

The Latest Virus Attack on My PC

got a mock practical exam today.. so I just woke up and started going through my lab files...currently sitting in front of the PC with 2 lab copies on my lap. but today i found something unusual, in fact highly suspicious!!!
it started with logging in my net account..generally it logs me in automatically, but today I find the cursor is running in the id field ceaselessly and then in the password field, too. naturally, it said 'invalid id/password' . however, I managed to log in typing the correct ones.. but then when i click yahoo messenger icon, the same thing happened, and then with Google, my home page.. the cursor was running endlessly at the search field...

I understood that my PC was getting attacked by a deadly virus.. locked the internet immediately, and tried to scan the hard drives. but there, too, the same thing was happening. I give up!!! and started to surfing ...

and then I saw the virus... a lab copy of mine was placed in such a way, that a part of it was resting on the space bar....and the cursor was running!!!!

naturally, I removed the virus with my bare hands... and started sharing this with you all...

BEWARE OF THE 'SPACE BAR' VIRUS!!!

THE MORNING SAGA

first of all I'm apologizing to you all as I'm posting very little these days. but exam time is coming nearer..and loads to study along with numerous lab copies to write...naturally, even in my dream I saw people writing lab copies sitting in the canteen!!!:((

anyway, started getting up early(usually I wake up at 8 30, but not now!!) to do all these works...and according to "the monk ho sold his ferrari" I tell my reluctant mind and body to get up from bed thinking about the ultimate outcome...it works, but for a better result I give alarm in the music system...(it sprangs to life and start singing Tagore songs) and also I tell me that if I get up, I'd have a glassful of iced tea..(this always works!!!)

so today I managed to get my body detached from the be (it seemed that someone had applied favicol between my body and the bed, it was damn tough to get up); brushed my teeth and made the ice tea...
there it was ...the wonderfully coloured liquid along with 9 or 10 ice cubes in the glass- a bend straw was inside the glass (and I had also mixed some cinnamon in this tea)...I took the glass in my hand...uhh!!!it felt like heaven...and then....
....
....
In front of my mesmerised eyes the bottom og the glass fell down as if someone has cout it nicely...mind it, it didn't broke, just became from one piece to two piece..(P.C.Sorkar must have done something...)
and thus the promised drink became a mess in the floor in front of my early-mesmerised-and-then-surprised eyes...

(now the question is, will I be able to get up tomorrow??how??????)

did i ever tell u people that my favourite season is summer??if i have, i'm withdrawing it NOW. uff man!!!!it's only late march, and Kolkata is becoming a hot air oven...

the bad thing about this summer is that we r not sweating anymore, but it seems that all the water from our body are evaporating...and our body fluids too.after getting down from the bus, i need to walk only for 5 minutes to get inside the baker laboratories building(our dept is in this very building!!!), but nowadays, the interior of my nostrills get so dried just by the time i crossed this path that i've to wash my face with water to regain some of the moisture...

and due to this scorching heat, I'm not going out of the building as long as i can..that day i went out for a courtesy visit to the canteen(our schedules doesn't allow us anything more) and i returned with a mild semi-flu. so I'm not going out to have my lunch, living only on the lunchboxes of my classmates and on some special days on mine too(don't know why, but mom makes lunch rarely these days)....imagine!!!!!!!!i'm almost fasting!!!!

and I dread to think what will happen in may and june(our exams are also scheduled then)!!!!!!!hey, got a nice excuse for the bad marks that i'm gonna get in the exam...

p.s.- somedays ago, i made some chicken kababs by roasting them in the flame. and now i'm feeling like a chicken being roasted everyday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The (un)Smart Card

I've always been a great fan of the metro railway, Kolkata. and so I was highly delighted at the news of metro launching the new smart card. it was suppossed to be launched at october,2005 and it finally launched on 25th January,2006.
I bought mine on 1st february.I picked one with 60 days validity with a balance of 253 rs for which I have to pay the authority 200 rs apart from the refundable 100 rs for a new card.

the whole month i used it and was very happy to do so.
then on march 6th or 7th, while coming back from college, I tried to use it but it was rejected. the authority said thaT THE VALIDITY HAS EXPIRED. IMAGINE!!! I HAD 6O DAYS VALIDITY AND THE VALIDITY HAS EXPIRED AFTER 30 DAYS!!!
I showed them some evidences proving that this can't happen as I have bought a card with 60 days validity...they seem to be understood and advised me to contact the station I bought it from..

so I went to Central metro station the next day. someone in the station master's room asked me to come the next day by 10 am and he said that the makers of smart card would be there and they would solve it in minutes.

so on 9th march I went there at morning and visit the station master;s room and meet the station masters. he asked me to submit an application writing about all these to the authority. and he said that I'd get the card after 7 days... so I did that and submitted my card with a balance of Rs. 125.

after 7days I contct them. they said it's not been fixed yet and asked me to come another day....and afer some more frustrating visit to the station and some equally frustrating phone calls today I got to know that it has finally narrived there.
I went there and collected it(not to mention that they were giving it away to someone else without checking his smart card no). and they recharged it and I saw that mine has a balance of Rs.120.(coz the new recharge has 120rs balance with 30 days validity and costs 100Rs. thank god, they didnt ask me to pay)

I asked them about the thing ...they said, they can't help it but they would ask the authority to do something....I told them some things( coldnot create a tantrum as they were already apologizing)...
so...the equation of my loss wold be"
5 rs balance+5 rs fr phone call in 2 days+1.25Rs for xerox(not to add the harrassment )=11.25Rs+the loyality and faith

I have only one more thing to say:

Fu*k bureaucracy!!!!

.....

well....it seems that my brain is becoming sterile. can't think of any decent thing to write a post on...having some ideas, but are not developing them in form of a post...it's irritating... well....not writing anymore to save meaningless crap to become more crap....

i hope i can post after some days...till then, enjoy..

Holi Hain!!!

wishing u all a colourfull Holi, the festival of colours.
but for me, holi comes a day before the actual date. coz we play holi (or dol in bengali) in college on that day, and yesterday was not an exception...

(well, people, I think a little confession is necessary. in my 3 yrs of college, I played holi only nin the 1st yr. and then too, we got our half yearly exam papers!!the whole college was playing holi and was enjoying while we were being scolded by our HOD for our poor marks!!nevertheless, this year I enjoyed holi totally)
we had classes through out the day. and after the 1st class I went to canteen to have a look...and, i came back and with some of my classmates we went to the proff's room and request him to call off our remaining classes. and such a sweetheart he is, he actually did it.
and we started.

from class we wqent to canteen. started with abir, and soon started using water colours. and after that plan water. bucket and bottles full of water . everybody was splashing everyone. we were playing with people we even dnt know. but we know enogh of them.. they are presidencian. that bridges all the gap.

and someone told me ,'go, have the bhang!!' i went and have a sip after fighting with others to grab the bottle. and i thought what will happen with only a sip.
and after washing we were chatting in the canteen. suddenly, almost after 1 hour, I got the kick. and it seems that as if I was sleeping ...i was feeling drowsy and euphoriac. i was feeling like laughing, but I controled and started smiling...
my friends saw me and I told them that it's affecting...
and they were asking me to laugh. and me:'hahaha, dnt do this, hahahaha....plz stop...ho ho hahaha....I'll see u people..hahaha"
it was finally over when i woke up today morning...

anyway, with such a wonderful holi I atleast have a day in presi on which I enjoyed more in my MSc class than in my BSc class...
happy holi....

It Hurts!!!

well. this post was suppossed to be on yesterday, when I went to get photographed for my voter's id card. and this post was suppossed to be about the chaos I experienced there.but...I got a call.

my friend, the one who was always with me in all my stpid ventures through out college, has called me up. she is in Dehradun. and she is having a tough time.......trusting and loving a friend, and ....

all I can say is that she is going through a very bad phase of her life, but I know it'll be over.becaause, she is a STRONG person...
tough times never last, tough people do

but plzzzzzzzzz, pray for her

an announcement

this is to tell u all that i'll be away from blogosphere for some days. because i'm loading some heavy files from net. and that requires lots of time. so my blogging time is in jeopardy.but dnt worry, just within some days, it'll be over.....and i'll once again start irritating u all by writing meaningless crap

It's 1st March Again!!!

exactly 2 years ago,Dad died in a road accident.and since then, we have become emotionally wretched. I won't forget that day. Getting a call from a friend at college to know that My sis had called her and asked me to go home immidiately coz mom is not well. I called sis back. she said, even she didn't know the details but she also got a call from home and so she is returning from office.
i went home by a metro.and i won't forget the scene i saw. my sis, my grand mom and some other relatives were sitting helpselessly at the stairs. my sis saw me and said,"Mom is alright!!Dad had an accident and he is no more!!"

I was dumbstrucked. but man, my sis is a brave girl. she confirmed the news by calling her office(a tv channel). informed all the relatives. went to the police station to do all the formalities. and I won't ever forget how she copped up with those days...
abyways, 2 years have passed!!!which means 731 days. but still ....


WE MISS YOU, BABA!!!

Presidencian Memory

This is my fourth summer in the Presidency College, Kolkata. and once again i'm being mesmerised by the charm of the Presi campus!!!! the walks by the Accacia lined way between the fields of our college and Hare School(which, luckily is my school!!), spending time in the cool of Arts and Science libraries while the whole campus is suffering from a blow of hot air, having lemonade from the man who sits outside the main gate, coming to college for doing library works in the month of may before the exam.......I'm going to experience these again!!!!!!and it's heaven!!!

spending time in the canteen=rejuvenation

chatting endlessly at the quadrangle=identifying urself with the Presidencian culture

whispering sweet nothings in the lover's lane= lover's paradise

encountering with the sky from the terrace of Baker's laboratory buliding=Awesome

going to Coffee House for AN 'adda' andvisiting the bookshops= this is life

liking a book and realizing you can't afford it=I want to earn!!!

conclusion:there are some things that money can buy. for everything else...

LIVE A PRESIDENCIAN LIFE

The Kolkata Boimela 2006

Finally I'm writing this post about kolkata boimela, i.e.;bookfair. And I don't think I'm too late to write it as only 6 days have gone after the last day of this year's bookfair.

like great bong, I also opine that the kolkata bookfair is not only about books. it is about people, its about foods, its about singing in the field, its about little magazines and its about so many things. though i want to write a long post on it, i' cutting it short and posting some pics of this year's bookfair. (otherwise, my little sis, who's waiting for me to get off the computer so that she can use it, would kill me)