that's the way it is

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference"

I have tried everything. I tried denial,dating,trying to move on, stopped being in touch, pretending I do noit care... and what not. nothing worked. at times I wonder what is happening with me. why this is not working out?why can't we figure out what is it that connects us? why?

the answer always eludes me.

I used to feel we were like Ross and Rachel. and one day I realize that we could even be Bing and Janice,too. which one is right? no idea!and a few days ago I felt we cud also be like Barney and Robin!

yes!! I know I watch a lot of TV Series. And I think even more.

But the truth is that life is not a film, or a tv series. the answer does not come to us after 2-3 hours or a few sessions. Sometimes the answer does not reveal it self at all.

We can only try being ourselves and do what we do best. For me that is being her friend and hopelessly being in love.

I know the clock is ticking. I'm getting old. sometimes I feel like asking her,"will you say yes when I ask you to marry me?"

and a part of me says," it doesn't work like that dwai. she doesn't know. if you value your relationship, be there for her and you will find out. if you are tired of being on the hook, go away. if you stick to this... the answer will come some day. at most, it will be no. but you will not repent thinking 'what if?'"

and I start walking on the unknown path again... I know it will be different. good or bad..only time will tell...