Sunday, May 23, 2010

Mindless Musings

I had my birthday just a few days ago. The usual midnight calls wishing me, the endless messages (some form even unknown numbers) - everything was just as it should be. But I have changed. The Me after this birthday is not the same as ME after the last one. So I was thinking what are the changes that took place in me? Well, the question seems so philosophical. But

The answer hardly is. In fact, I don't even know if there is any answer at all. Let me look within myself to find the answer, as I carry on composing this piece.

I can talk about the changes which are very clear and open for everybody's view. I finally have written the last paper for my MBA exam. And I never want to attend any course. I have done enough for a lifetime. But speaking about such trivial things is no fun. So let me try some other angle.

I can talk about how I am hoping to get a job and getting rejected again and again. But even that's not worth mentioning. Because I'm still fighting. I may still be unemployed, but I know that I will soon get a job. That too, a decent one.

Anyway, enough of talking about what this post is not. Now allow me to talk what it is about.

As I have said at the beginning, I have changed. I have learned to let go. And finally I have learned not to look back. It took years and lot of hurt burns to learn all these. But it was worth it. Really, it was worth it.

There was a time when I used to take a stroll at midnight. Feeling amazed looking at the starlit sky. I used to talk to myself a lot. Now when I go to the terrace, it's mostly to take a puff. I do look at the stars but I do not find them amazing any more. Now they are just some celestial bodies. Learning too much can be harmful. At least for your imagination.

There are lot more changes that I prefer not to talk about. A lot of changes which are not even worth mentioning. But I have grown up a lot with each of these changes. And I feel more confident as myself. It doesn't matter anymore whether these changes are for good or not. It's ME. And I am happy being me.

I think that's what made me different from my earlier versions.