Thursday, December 28, 2006


i hate fighting... it always makes me feel guilty irrespective whether I'm guilty or not. i always end up apologizing even when other people should apologize. well, can't help it. I'm like that. call me stupid. ye, i accept. I'm stupid. but I prefer to be a stupid than unhappy.

when u fight with someone close, does it really matter who has started it?? don't both of us feel bad?? so i just took the 1st step.(well, now we should overlook the fact that in 99.9999999567% cases i am really the culprit)

but one thing i like about fighting. when the thing is all sorted out, and u r back again in good terms...i feel so good. and my memory always forgets the bad things and manages to remember how we spend the good times together.

that's all...

after a long time I'm in such a good mood!!hope this will last more than a moment!!! and even if doesn't, who cares??( well,i'm lying..i care..I really care)


just a bit ago i was feeling bad. someone did something which hurt me. i know that someone didn't mean it, did it just like that. but i can't help it. for me small things really matter.
i was feeling a bit bad. every thing's fine.. but...
and then I open my mailbox and read a forwarded mail. it was about how small this earth is compared to this universe. it's not that I wasn't aware of the fact. but the moment was perfect.

i realized that if u see things from the wider angle, who are we?? who am I?? so our li'l problems are really meaningless. and suddenly I started to feel a bit better.

Monday, December 25, 2006

When the Dreams Come true

After so many days of tension, apprehension, mood swings and uncertainty finally I'm in Delhi.Yes..I'm in Delhi.
The journey was fine( if I forgot the bad biriyani that I bought from mughalsarai) except the few moments when i was really got bored by lying for so long. My co passengers were nice specially the little girl who too naughty to handle. all the time I was making faces at her and she was threatening to beat me with her silent hand gestures. the train was more than 2 hours late and at the end I was really getting impatient. but everything has a positive side. and here the positive thing is that my cousin had to wait for 2 hours at the station for me. I felt so pseudo important. whatever, i like feeling important, even with the pseudo word before it.:P

the 1st day was pretty good. I did what I loved most. Roamed around the city seeing faces of people (and checking out the girls, of course). I specially liked it when i see a boy calling a street dweller to give her an ice cream. that was my moment of Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you all, my friends.

( i know this is a worthless post but you can't expect anything better from me, that too when i'm this live one of my dream finally)

Thursday, December 14, 2006


Since this July, when I met my cousin, I planned to go to delhi on christmas. I'm really fond of my cousin so this trip was something I wanted very much. but I knew that when you plan for something so earlier, it could go wrong.
my Prof wants to send me to IIT kgp to do a bit of work for our project under one of his student. we may have to go on during this christmas. but I'm not alone in this. one of my dear friend will also accompany me to there. and she really wants to go for research. and I know how good it'll be for her. so I can't say no to this trip.

yesterday i asked my prof to conirm me the dates. he asked me why and I told him about the delhi trip and that I've to cancel my tickets. he asked why? I said that I may go to delhi sometimes else but this IIt thing is a golden opportunity( though every bit of me wants to go delhi).

however, I'm telling myself that it doesn't matter. I might have a small vacation but if you know my cousin you would rather choose not to visit him. Moreover I don't think he would even bother.

anyway, it's become the destiny of my dreams to get shattered, but my habit of dreaming is still there.
tonight may be the last night for my delhidreams.

delhidreams: something you wanted so badly but yet ,you have to go away from dreams.
let me dream tonight. tomorrow could be the deathbed of my delhidreams.

dreams may die, dreaming will continue.

(adi dear, pardon me for stealing the title of your blog without asking you.couldn't resit the urge to use such a wonderful and apt name)

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Sunday, December 10, 2006

My silence ,My protest

the situation of my college, my state compels me to protest. But we are going through such a time that everything is useless. they will do what they want and no one can do anything about that. I protest by my silence!!!

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