Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Meaning of Life

when I was a kid ( mentally I still am), I used to wait for the day when I'll grow up. and I grew up.Sat for so many exams, cracked some, failed in others. one year ago doing the masters course in botany was very important for me, but now I'm counting days for the course to be finished. Boring practicals, soporific theories... I'm going through all this all the while looking forward to the puja vacation which will be from 22nd sept to 31st oct and will include an excursion to sikkim from 9th to17th of oct. Ffter the vacation, I'll do classes waiting for the christmas holidays. And once that is over, I've to survive through 4 months of continuous classes and an exam at the end. After that ...I don't know.
Probably a course on advertising and a job after that. Now I think it'll be a smooth journey once I get a job, but I know it won't. I know I'll look forwrd to something else then and the days will pass waiting for that.
All these thought made me think, is life all about waiting?? Is life all about passing days??

jindagi kya din kaatne ka naam hain??

Only time can answer

Friday, August 25, 2006

The Day before D-day

proffs and stuffs reharsing for their song

doing the board
we reharsing for the 'shrutinatok' ( can u spot me??)
making the decoration: the begining

making the decoration: stage two

the decoration: complete


today we have a depertmental programme. farewell of two proffs and welcoming two new ones. among the five years of students of the depertment. only we(msc second year) and bsc 1st years are available now. so the work load is entirely upon us.
planning the events, placing the orders for food and flower, looking for the gifts, negotiating with the teachers about everything...but it's fun!!
and once proff was creating probs, wasnt releasing 2 of us yeaterday to reharse and was taking a huge practical. our friends send another proff to rescue us and we were saved. but when reharsal was over, we were called by him to complete the work. we did. but later while switching off all the instruments I found out that the two stupid labmates of us hasn't switched off the UV light and have done all the work in the Uv light. we also have wrked under it for around half an hour.

last night suddenly I woke up with a pain in my eyes, both eyes were extremly irritating and tear was constantly coming out. this continued for around 1 hour.still now it's not fully ok. I was wondering if that was due to UV radiation. I just prayed so that I do not get blind.

will see an opthalmologist tomorrow. but just now a senior reassured me that UV do not have such effects. I never look forward to have any alergy in my eyes. let it be alergy, it will gone by eye drops..

update: today I found out that the pain was indeed due to exposure to UV light. the two culprits couldn't come to college because of the pain in their eyes. All sirs advised us to take vitamin c for some days and to visit the doc.

I just wonder whether I should insure my life or not. but the only preventive method is to work wearing a space suit. anybody want to sell 2nd hand space suit??

Sunday, August 20, 2006


It was 21:30. I was coming home from a friend's place. The traffic was less, the street lights have retired. The only light was coming from some shops and the waiting taxis.Tired peoples were returning to their den. I came home.

after cyberspace got boring, I confined myself to my room and had a smoke, only to realize I'd better skip that. put off the light and tried sleeping, but I was insomniac.after postponing the musci system' sleep timer several times, finally switch on the light again and resumed my half finished story. I couldn't finish it, nor could I sleep.

thinking about the uncertained future, our incomplete family... I was writhing in my bed. i woke up this morning to find 8am in the clock. last night has passed. how many more to live through?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Independence Day; Spent in My Way

15th August,2006. 12:30 pm.
I had a shower and a shave( a shave after 12 days, because of the mourning period), get into my t shirt and cargos, put the cam in my bag and went out for the rest of the day. while going to the bus stop I caught some men fishing in a pond. with so many audience that seemed to be a competition. fishing, a hobby I acquired after the long vacations to 'mamabari' . a hoby I highly enjoyed. but after so many years of being out of touch, I can't even hook a worm to the line, neither can I release the fish from the line.
I moved on.
1:30 pm, College street
One of the four famous days of college street sale. You can pick up old books in the cheapest rate from here. no wonder I bought 6 books at 65 rs only. and any visit to college street is incomplete without a visit to my college, the place I belong to.
So I get in by the main gate, which I've never seen closed except at chaos of election, when it remain closed to prevent outsiders from entering the campus.
The empty campus gave me a feeling of emptyness. I deided to spend some time with myself, alone. I took the path of lover's lane, lit up a gold flake and inhaled the 1st patch of nicotine. I walked a bit and sat at one of the small stairs which I've always seen to be used as a bench for couples( also used by myself). and I looked up. I could see a bit of sky here and there through the canopy of the green leaves of the peppal tree. The lamp post beside that was standing with its head held high. I got intoxicated by the sounds of trams passing by, caws of the crows on the tree branches, the memories and the charming campus.

4:30 pm, City Centre, Saltlake
I joined the anti reservation movement organised by the 'Youth For Equality'. they have organised a candle lit march. we marched through the rains. liting up the extinguished candles from the next man. there were loads of boys and girls from the technical instis. so it was a cacophony of anti reservation mixed with curses and comments about the girls.
but yet, they were united for a cause. and my independence day ends with it.

I came back home thinking of the day when I'll be independent financially and emotionally.

Friday, August 11, 2006

The Presidencian Charm

College has started . the classes are in their full glory. our classes over sometimes at 4pm sometimes at 7. but we don't leave the campus before 8pm these days. it's become an unwritten rule to go to canteen or quadrangle after classes and enjoying some good time. 3 or 4 of us, my camera, some cigarettes...and the time passes by.

I never used to stay that late in college campus. but this year being my last year in presidency college, something attracts me towards the quadrangle. just one more year, after that it'll be not like this anymore. I'll definitely visit Presi, but at times only. my 2nd home, which become a place more cozier than my 1st home, since 2002 august, will bade me farewell after just one more year.

These days when i sit there and feel the day turning into evening, the lamps being switched on, i feel a pain. a pain that is yet to come, but which will definitely come. the pain of separation. like a lover feels when he knows his loved one will go away from his life after some days.

Presidency College!! a place which remolded my personality, changing the naive school boy to a more matured man. a place where you found some friends, without whom life would be monochromatic. 1st affair, 1st love. felling of being loved, feeling of being rejected.

Getting a rose for my crush and finally giving her that. packing my 1st love letter in a bag full of rose petals: all my friends were tearing the petals and filling the bag. I gave it to her in the corridor, she tried to take out the letter, the petals came out and flows everywhere..she picked them up one by one.
having a date and got late by 4 hours due to a sudden class- but she was still there- making it up with my first kiss.
breaking up and returning all the things we ever gave each other..and later becoming friends again.

Playing with the overflowing water of the water tank. splashing buckets of water when all the colours have finished in Holi. laughing continuously after the bhang. dancing so hard in a college party that while coming back home you felt like dancing in the road. taking part in all the contests and loosing in the very 1st round. bunking classes to go shopping or a movie.
collecting all the money form friends and sharing 2 plates of chopsuey among 5 of us. having wine in the college field, pouring in tea cups, pretending that to be red tea.
lying in the field in winter, playing with friends, and seeing the stars shining in the night sky.

Arranging a programme, acting in a skit, singing in chorus as no one dare to sing alone, and fighting for the food after that. acting on the stage of the auditorium after 1 month of preparation, seeing only 25 viewers are there , half of whom are our friends, forgetting my lines, dancing in my shorts, the song being played at wrong time..yet a success.

Presidency College reminds me of all these and many more. No wonder each day I surrender more to her charm than ever before.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


One year of course during which I attened all the lectures but not studied at all. One month of study leave during which I read, not my notes( better say my friend's notes which I've photocopied), but all the storybooks I've bought but haven't read. 10 days of exams during which I spent average 5 hours on internet chatting, reading and viewing erotica.
And I got 67.2%.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shillong luck has shone again!!!

P.S. Special thanks to Aklanta for listening to my pre-result blues and giving me his worthy advices. It helped a lot dude.

( waiting for the congratulations:P)

Sunday, August 06, 2006

From The Horse's Mouth...

In a recent post I put some lines of a song by a popular bengali band, the 1st bengali band. Reading the translated lines, a blogger friend asked me to send him the song and later to send him the translated lyric.After lots of looking over I finally managed to retrive the cd from my untidy collection. And since them I'm listening to it. Thank you The Comic Project, for sending me down the memory lane once again.

'Mohiner Ghoraguli'( some also says Moheener Ghoraguli), was the 1st bengali band. which became popular after 20 years of their formation. It's around 30 years, and no college fest can take place in bengal without performing a Number opf them.
I accquinted with these songs during my +2 years. I liked some songs. Didn't like some.But now when I listen to these, it feels kinda nostalgic. Out of the four albums , I own two.But thanks to internet all the songs are availavle these days. nowadays I like most of their songs, But some are my all time favourite..through out the 7 years.

It has always been my deepest desire to sing "porasunoi jolanjoli bhebe" in front of our whole depertment at any of the programmes, but I was never allowed to do so. Or take the song," dhandar thekeo jotil"(more puzzling than riddles) which always depicts my mental condition whenever i fall in love( so far 33.59 times). though i never like cricket as a game, i immensely like the song "cricket" which talks about similarity of life and cricket. there are many more... but nowadays my favourite is "aashai aashai bose aachi"( waiting in hope) by the founder of the band Goutam Chattopadhyay.

Here I put some of the songs for you to listen .If anybody likes these and want more, contact me( or you know where to get those). And i'm working on to translate some of the lyrics, so that our non-bengali friends can also enjoy the songs with their meaning.

Prithibita naki choto hote hote
Manush chena daai
Porasunoi jolanjoli bhebe
dhandar thekeo jotil tumi
Priya Cafe
Aashai aashai bose aachi

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Goodbye Dadu, Goodbye forever

He was 92. I always knew it'd happen someday, but it still hurts. of course this time it's not as shocking as Dad's, but the feeling of loss is there.
I don't have to lie to anyone after a bad exam saying the paper was good, because he won't be there to get tensed. No more excuses to come home late night, no more quarreling over which channel to watch on TV and how long to keep watching. No one will bug me repeatedly again to get the things for him from the market, neither I have to stand in the long ques of the medicine shop again.
My introducer to the english films... he used to tell me the stories of Hamlet and we used to watch the movies on Doordarshan understanding not a single word..i was in pre-nursery.

Teaching me before the entrance exam to Hare school, me getting pissed over his long list of questions and long hour of studies. but he helped me to bag the 9th position out of the 40 students chosen from the 300 examinees.

His endeavour to teach me Sanskrit enable me to manage the subject for 7th and 8th standard with scoring not so bad marks, at least i was better in it than english. but he tried his best to teach me narration. voice change and all that. but the 'fankibaaj' in me always managed to mess up the lessons.He helped me to pass my maths exams till standard eight, after that I had a tutor.

loads of memories. he always used to love me a bit more than his other grandchildren. At times I got a bit more money than the others to buy my Puja dresses. i still use the umbrella he got as a gift and kept that for me. himself using our rejected raincoats in the rains.
24 years of my memories... turned into ashes today early morning. all the rituals were like deja vu. only this time my uncle in my place.

the mourning period will be over in 14 days, but the pain will remain. His empty bed, the empty room, his voice no more calling our names...

Another name has added in the list of my deceased ancestors for 'tarpan' in the mahalaya.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


I was walking on college street with the cam in my hands, looking for something to shoot. and I heard them.
" dada, dada, amader photo tolo" ( take our pic)
and here is what I did.
I know it's not what u'll call a good photograph. but hey, I've just started( good excuse to cover up my faults, ain't it??)