1Year and 26 Days

Yes. I started blogging on 6th july, 2005. it was my 2nd try at blogging. my 1st blog which contained only 1 post somwtimes during 2003, dies prematurely lacking care.
however, "meaningless crap" survived. may be it's because of the name. may be it's because my cousin has also started a blog around that time, and so it kinda influenced me to post and re-post. though at that time i'd do anything to deny this fact, but after almost 13 months of blogging, blog hopping, getting accquiented with so many bloggers, some of whom became my friend beyond the blogs...i can say, thank you. thank you Rintu.

as i said, i started blogging just like that. i didn't even have any idea what my 1st post would be about. but then it was time for results of my graduation. so i just typed a few lines on that. the journey started from that post. and since then my blogger friends are with me.. through out the depression and suicidal thoughts period, getting in Presi once more to do my msc, attending the lectures with my mind thinking how to get material for a post... and i know they will be with me when i'd leave botany and will go for something else.. advertising.
i know, YOU will be with me.

I'm not extending this post by mentioning the names and links of people who enriched me with their comments, blogs and their cyber presence ( that would make this post lengthier than the script of kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi). i will not thank you people, because friends don't thank each other. i'd just say, be there.

and the journey continues...

Mail... E-Mail

The dream which I've seen maximum no. of times is the one about finding my letterbox full with letters and most of these bearing my name. In the last 10 years, I've seen this numerous times.
It doesn't take Freud to interpret this dream. I love getting letters and really love to get them..I've pen pals over the year- a bond formed by the letters with those faceless strangers.
with the advent of technology my pen pals were replaced by chat friends; yahoo messenger and GMail taking the place of pen and paper.
But I still love to get letters, though now I hardly get one in a year. on the contrary my inbox is always full of new emails.
E mails: Electronic mails. extremely fast. I don't have to worry anymore about what the fate of the letter would be.Neither I have to wait for 15 days to have a reply( the prompt one). sometimes the reply comes within a minute.but... as my cousin once wrote, Emails lack personal touch.

let me explain. my cousin and me used to keep in touch through letters.our relationship grew over the years through the letters and then emails and now blogs.
we still email, call and keep in touch. but emails lack the speciality. unless u count the latest ways by which my cousin irritates me in the mails, there's nothing to established that it's the mail coming from him. I mean, emails bear just some typed characters... without any uniqueness. any Tom-Dick-Harry could have typed that. it doesn't have the unique ornate scrolls characterising his letters or the bad handwriting proclaiming to be a letter from me.

the Internet has done so many things. but it took away the personal touch. moreover, now we think..yeah..we'll send this..but ultimately we don't.

the world is getting smaller and smaller
it's now restricted to the satellite and Internet
but you and me are drifting apart
more distant than two stars,
thousands light years apart.


[ a bad try to translate a famous Bengali song by the band Mohiner Ghoraguli(the horses of Mohin)...the whole India now knows the tune of this song..humming it to be bheegi bheggi si hain..]

Another Year

Bored by a month long vacation, I was eagerly waiting for my classes to resume. Yesterday I went to college and was greeted by a Prof warmly:
" how dare you take microbiology as special paper?"
I lied innocently," sir, I like the subject"
him:" but I don't like you"
I felt like saying " that is your bloody problem, go to the HOD and complain." but instead i said some more innocent lies.

after settling down a bit I eyed the room which I've been seeing for the last 4 years- which is gonna be my home for all the Thursday and Friday of this educational year.
the long green table,where we have to manage some space by shifting aside numerous glass apparatus and bottles of every shape and size containing chemicals of all the possible colours. bottles of alcohol( but not a single one is drinkable..sigh!), two autoclaves, which are giant pressure cooker to be precise; 3 incubators - where to bake a cake was my fantasy.The AC of the adjacent culture room provides some comfort from the hot and humid climate outside.
and I started doing my 1st lab work of this year. work gives me an excuse to keep myself busy. moreover this 1 year at this lab probably enable me to write a book called " How to sustain in unfavourable conditions"
the work finished at 5:30 pm. me, debarchana- my lab mate and only hope in those 2 days of the week, chingridi aka shuvamitadi- the playnology research scholar and my best buddy in college nowadays-went out together. the violent rain started even before we managed to get out of the Baker Laboratories Building. as we were advancing towards the shelter of the canteen shielded by our umbrellas we spotted the librarian ma'am walking along getting drenched in rain.
the 1st years were enjoying their 1st rain in the college, singing and dancing in rain with friends.we cherished our memories over 3 cups of equivalent of tea.
when we set for home one hour later, college street has flooded. when i reached the next crossing and managed to find a bit of land still visible above water, i empathize with the sailors who spot land after months of tiring voyage at the sea.

the day started as a boring one, but however I enjoyed it. not to mention the cold and cough as the side effect.

today when another Prof asked me," why did you take microbiology as special paper? what's your future plans?"felt like saying the truth , but what emerges from my mouth was the typical lie," i like the subject, sir."

Vulnerable

8 blasts in Mumbai. granade attack in Kasmir. red alert in delhi and kolkata. deadbodies everywhere.

earlier when i used to read 150 people has been killed in an accident, i thought that only 150 persons were affected. later my own experience taught me that 150 death means 150 suffering families.

i can never ride a two wheeler again in my life. neither can my sister. i just wonder how the children of the mumbai blast victimes were feeling. will they ever be able to ride a train again??
the youngman ,who has come back to kolkata hearing news of losing her full family in amarnath, could he ever go on a vacation??

hundreds of kids have become orphan last evening. smile from thousand faces has wiped away. who to blame?? we can't blame anyone. we have nothing to do. we can only accept the fact. they are no more.

kolkata and delhi are also under red alert. kolkata, which we used to think as the safest place in india, is also under threat. we know if terrorists ever choosed to attack here, metro rail would be their target. yet we'll travel by metro. we pass the journey reading, chatting, thinking, sleeping. if the attack comes..thousands of mutilated bodies will be available- some hands still clutching a newspaper, some faces with some unuttered words.

we all are deeply mourned by the news. but it won't affect us. it never does. i'll go college after some time. as it reopens today after almost a month, we friends will have long awaited talks, we'll discuss movies and gossip, we'll be lost in our own world.
you'll be going to ur office,busy in ur own work, checking anf forwarding mails..

just one thing will be common to all of us.
WE ARE VULNERABLE

Blue

as i have mentioned in my earlier post, out of boredom i was thinking this:

If blue signifies melancholy, why are blue films named so??
and I found out some resons ,too. here are the reasons for the interested people.

1. if you are not a 1st timer, or a 2nd timer, third timer, not even a fourth timer or fifth timer,( may be not a 6th timer, too)- you'd be depressed by the monotony!!

2.the films are made to watch in the faint light of night lamp- which could be blue in many cases.

3. frustrated people ( who become so for some sort of excess melancholy) are the primary target audiance..( viewers accept it. we are frustrated!!)

4.you become melancholic after seeing a film and realizing that the only object that sucks is our life or our job.


5. and you're bound to be in blue if you even dare to make the mistake of comapring your own things with their monsterous 'assets'.

and thinkng about this points made be a victim of blue..

doba doba doob doob..i'm in blue.

Live from Shillong

writing form a cyber cafe at Laban, Shillong. it's 5:41pm and the weather is a fine cool one...and extremely enjoyable.
i'm having a great time reading books, watching tv, eating great food and roaming around shillong...it's awesome..

ok ..enough, now shall i say the truth??
the weather is fine..so is everything. but my mood is not. i just hate myself. having mood swings..and i have become so lazy that today i was not even feeling like thinking...it's weird..i find myself tired of reading books, watching tv and sleeping.

what does i want man????i don't know..(and the bad thing is that i can't even kick my own ass)
2 days ago i was scribbling down my book at night and i was in blue. helpless..thinking about her..and why does it happen to me(everyone thinks so, na??)..
and suddenly a thought occured to me..
if blue means depression or sadness why are blue films called so??
i even managed to find some answer..but that i'll write later..(the book's not with me..and my memory..worse than a floppy)

anyway, my lazy ass is getting more lazy...and i think if i manafge this rate..a sloth will reach kolkata for me..